Saturday, August 28, 2010

Internet Dating

About 2 years ago I met a girl on an online dating website. She seemed really cute and sweet. I know I've told some of you this story but a few other people recently asked me about it so here it is in it's full glory...

(BTW, this is 100% true - although I wish it wasn't!)

Scenario. Had 2 lunch dates. She seemed cute and normal to this point. Agreed to a 3rd date, dinner on a Saturday night. She was newly divorced, one son about 18 months old. We are 5 minutes into eating starter. Conversation goes:

HER: Do you believe in ghosts?
ME: Huh?
HER: Ghosts? Do you believe in them?
ME: Well, I'm a Christian so I believe in a spiritual realm but I don't know about the manifestation of residual or intelligent entities such as ghosts.
HER: I see them all the time.
ME: Awesome.
(I wait 10 seconds and see she's not smiling...)
ME: Wait, you're serious aren't you?
HER: Yes. Since I've moved into my new house I see them all the time.
ME: That must be annoying. Do they get in the way of the tv?
HER: It first started when I was 15 and a high school friend died and came to visit me in my dreams and told me things.
ME: Like what?
HER: Things that came true.
ME: I bet he was pissed. Suddenly he can tell the future but now he's dead.
HER: Since then, whenever anybody has died that I know or is related to somebody I know, they visit me before they are buried.
ME: Do they tell you stuff each time?
HER: Yes. Sometimes some amazing things. My son has started pointing at the ghosts now. He can see them too!
ME: I guess that saves wear and tear on the Where's Waldo books?
HER: Did you want to come to my house after dinner and I can point them out to you?
ME: Surely they'll start getting a bit self-conscious if we're all sitting there pointing at them!
HER: They like us to recognize their presence.
ME: I'll think about it.

(I did the manly thing and didn't return any calls/emails/texts after this. Her name was Beth. Batcrap crazy!)

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