Sunday, August 29, 2010

Real dating stories!

These were taken from the Football365 forum approx. 3 years ago. Apparently true...

- On a first date I knocked on her door and her dad answered in his wheelchair. I knew then I was in for a rough night. We went to her room later that night and she showed me her baby teeth that she kept in a pot by her bed. Well, not one to discriminate, I stayed the night. Next morning she came in with a bacon sandwich for herself, nothing for me, and ate it on the bed with no plate so crumbs were going everywhere! Then she says "Can you drop me at my dance class" I said ok and she said "I'll just freshen up first" and pulled a razor from a shelf and dry shaved her armpits!

- Went out with a girl back when I was younger who was pretty close to being an alcoholic. Unfortunately her inebriation didn't make her any more inclined to make out (we were about 16/17 at the time), it just sent her into fits of weirdness. I've blocked most of it out now, but the one thing that sticks in my mind is her playing cards with her invisible (dead) grandparents and giggling along whilst doing it.

- There was a girl at college who had the nick-name, "Fat Rachel". She was a punk, quite mental, and surprise, surprise... fat. We had a rule that none of us were ever allowed to be alone in the same room as her for our own protection. One morning, after a particularly heavy tequila session, I woke up in a strange bed with that queasy, guilty feeling when you know you've done something bad the night before but can't remember what it is. I heard heavy breathing next to me. I turned slowly around with dread in my heart to be confronted by the vile features of Fat Rachel. I slowly put one foot out of the bed to escape when I heard the words, and they still haunt me to this day, "No you don't, I want a cuddle first". After a few interminable minutes she released me, I think the sobbing was getting to her.


  1. LOL thats CRAZY! back in JR high i was dating this girl, and after we had been dating for about 2 weeks, she told me she loved me and wanted to lose her virginity to me.... In a graveyard. On HER GRANDFATHERS GRAVE. Dumped her the next day! Terrified. Then this girl i was hanging around with started getting death threats in her locker! i wonder who from? AH!

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